Steven Cloud

Shark Week

GreggWithTwoGs:  it seems like the best part of shark week is talking about shark week, but do people really watch it?
Steven Cloud:  i never have. at this point, i think i know all i need to about sharks.
GreggWithTwoGs:  like how they live underground and have ESP and lay glittery eggs?
Steven Cloud:  WHAT?!??!

Reporting From Comic-Con

Steven Cloud:  how's comic-con?
Justin Farren:  so many ponytails
Steven Cloud:  hahaha

Toothpicks for the Aged

Pijohos:  I have a severe need for a toothpick. old people like toothpicks more than young people. the youth only enjoy toothpicks if they are cinnamon flavored.
Steven Cloud:  yup. my dad is really big on toothpicks. i find myself picking them up as i leave restaurants these days. i throw them away almost immediately. but as i age, eventually, i'll always have one. i'll keep individually plastic wrapped spares in my wallet. 100% chance of this happening.
Pijohos:  yep. guess what you are getting for your birthday
Steven Cloud:  leather toothpick caddy?
Pijohos:  don't ruin it

Foreverlife®

pijohos: hopefully the RNA breakthroughs don’t proceed and people born well after us don’t get to live forever
pijohos: if we can’t it’s bullshit

Steven Cloud: i would get some enjoyment from, somewhere in my late 70’s, shooting as many smug ass RNA Forever people as I could before they took me out.

pijohos: that’s like MY SCREENPLAY IDEA
pijohos: the HAVE NOTS
pijohos: about people who are too old to receive foreverlife

Steven Cloud: uh-huh.

pijohos: i told you about this years ago!
pijohos: cheeck your history
pijohos: THE HAVE NOTS

Steven Cloud: “Check Your History” is the name of my hip-hop themed educational film strip about Thomas Jefferson.

Before the Plague

Zahra: I’m sure protein is a myth and no one really needs to get any in their diet

steven.cloud: people can live on all sorts of diets

Zahra: that could be a kids book
Zahra: help kids not feel bad for living off cold cereal and refusing real food

steven.cloud: nah, kids need to grow up and realize the world doesn’t revolve around them

Zahra: see i thought that too
Zahra: well about feeding kids anyway, that theyd eat when they were hungry
Zahra: but theyre actually not smart enough to do that
Zahra: its amazing
Zahra: i dont know how kids survive in the wild

steven.cloud: yeah, if my kid wouldn’t eat i would spank him or her… or yell at them or something like that. that’s how you teach kids.

Zahra: thats the thing though, theyre not smart like animals
Zahra: i dont think theyre that easy to train

steven.cloud: essentially kids are domesticated animals.
steven.cloud: humans are the dogs vs. wolves
steven.cloud: we’re permanently infantilized
steven.cloud: that’s basically what domestication is
steven.cloud: making something perm. immature and dependent
steven.cloud: where before it was self-sufficient (wild)

Zahra: like the frozen wild blueberries in the store?

steven.cloud: right. we have no idea how to find wild blueberries.
steven.cloud: granted most of the environment has been destroyed but that’s beside the point

Zahra: aww man
Zahra: we need the environment
Zahra: wont it just grow back?

steven.cloud:maybe. after the plague. (way past due, plague. way to slack!)

Zahra: what if i started talking about everything that happens now with the addition of the phrase “before the plague”

steven.cloud: that’d be a cool band name: Before The Plague

Zahra: until that one night they cant perform because its not before the plague anymore…
Zahra: (they changed their name, these things happen)

steven.cloud: i don’t think so
steven.cloud: they can still be called BTP b/c they formed before the plague. it’s still an accurate name
steven.cloud: whereas the Backstreet Boys seems kind of retarded now.

Zahra: yeah, no way theyre still boys
Zahra: they must be nearly 50
Zahra: im kinda excited about saying before the plague just casually
Zahra: hey we should get together sometime, before the plague
Zahra: im going to check that out, before the plague
Zahra: and eventually ill start believing in the plague and the world and the universe will let me have it and the world will end by december
Zahra: hopefully

steven.cloud:  yep. and you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing you did your part.

Zahra: yeah i can really put my heart into this

steven.cloud: that’s what life is all about. finding where you fit in and filling that niche. big breakthrough today.

Zahra: yay!